Assert Thyself.

Soap box issues. You know you have them, too.

I have a LOT of these issues, and if you read my blog or know me in real life, I'm sure you know what they are by now. Standardized testing. Gentle parenting. Cats being highly evolved and superior to dogs. Grammar. Freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom from our over-involved big government. Teaching.

And I'm trying to temper my desire to constantly spout my opinions about these issues, because I know it's a turn off. But today, you have to indulge me.

Women who have opinions, a backbone, and an assertive nature are NOT bad people, or "b-words." I'm not sure what it is about us girls that makes us think we have to be super nice all the time and let ourselves get walked all over. There is nothing wrong with an assertive, firm, "No, thank you" when a telemarketer calls. There is nothing wrong with telling a guy who whistles at you and yells dirty things "You may not speak to me like that. That is disrespectful." There is nothing wrong with telling someone who's talking your ear off, "I have to go. We can continue this conversation at a later date."

I'm just trying to figure out why some people think it's "mean" or "rude" for women to be assertive and stand up for themselves. It is absolutely not. Is it because of the patriarchal roots of our society? Is it because we as women tend to be more relational...we don't want to offend people and have them not like us? Something else?

I'm not entirely sure. But what I am learning is this: I have big feelings and strong opinions. In the past, I have oscillated between fake, pleasant smiles/keeping my mouth shut and saying whatever comes to mind/disregarding others' feelings. Now, I'm trying to find a balance.

Kindness and assertiveness are not mutually exclusive.