So be it.
This is Bully Awareness Month, and because I'm a teacher who deals with kids and bullies and victims of bullies, I am expected to participate in our school's program, in which teachers (who, mind you, are not trained psychologists or counselors) must discuss stereotypes and diversity and other sensitive topics with students they don't even necessarily know that well.
Personally, I think someone with proper training should also focus on giving kids tools and scripts to stand up for themselves, as well as basic nonviolent self-defense techniques. Because let's face it: there will always be bullies in the world. Does that mean we shouldn't do anything about the kids who exhibit bullying behavior? Absolutely not.
I'm not anti character training. I'm certainly not pro-bullying. So please don't misinterpret what I'm saying here.
I just think maybe schools aren't approaching this issue in the most effective way and that perhaps school employees all over the country are only doing anti-bullying techniques to make themselves feel better, to check off a box, to say, "Yes, we're doing something about this issue." Perhaps we're not looking at the research, using the best tools, involving the community to the fullest extent (parents, coaches, clergy, etc.), and so forth.
I don't know. All I know is that I have learned some interesting things about bully prevention programs and I want to share some of them.
"Targeting bullies, is thus, according to Twemlow, a great way to fail at stopping bullying.
Dr. Stuart Twemlow
YouTube
In a soon-to-be-published report titled 'Rethinking effective bully and violence prevention efforts,' Twemlow and his co-authors argue that such targeted bully prevention programs 'are, at best, marginally helpful.'"
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/are-anti-bullying-efforts-making-it-worse/
"Bullying was undeniably a problem that needed to be brought out of obscurity, but the issue has arguably now gotten too much attention. Such hype can lead to other problems such as the use of bullying accusations themselves as weapons in peer conflicts and overly harsh 'zero tolerance' policies that over punish minor infractions and may exacerbate the isolation that can lead to bullying in the first place. Now that bullying has been reduced, we need to be careful that it doesn’t distract us from other pressing problems besetting our nation’s schools."
http://ideas.time.com/2013/10/10/anti-bullying-programs-could-be-a-waste-of-time/
"Why some kids take this path and others don’t isn’t well established. What is clear is that aggressive kids often perceive ambiguous interactions—and even facial expressions—as negative or threatening. Kara Penniman, a school-based social worker in Columbus, Ohio, notes that students who bully often think their behavior is justified because others are “out to get them,” and this belief touches off a cycle of negative interactions.
'Many kids who exhibit bullying behavior … don’t see themselves often as being particularly powerful,' Penniman explains. 'Sometimes they themselves are experiencing intimidation, threats, power and control problems with other people, so it can be really common for them to see themselves as the victim.'"
http://www.tolerance.org/magazine/number-45-fall-2013/there-are-no-bulliesMore resources:
https://www.uta.edu/news/releases/2013/09/jeong-bullying.php
http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2013/10/08/are-anti-bullying-programs-having-an-opposite-effect/
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6363093n
So this month, I will participate in the anti-bullying lessons. I will continue to build relationships with my kids (which I do anyway) so I can support them. But I will not stop thinking, in the back of my mind, that there's got to be a better way to tackle this issue.
