Tuesday, December 2, 2014

My Proudest Academic Moment

When I think of my proudest moment as a student, immediately, the "C" I earned in precalculus with Mrs. Hite springs to mind. Every single time.

I've never been a confident math student. My insecurity in math started in elementary school and stuck with me, like a piece of gum on the bottom of a sneaker, to high school. I took algebra one and geometry my freshman year and got an A-/B+ respectively. Not bad. My guidance counselor, who had a lot more faith in me than I did in myself, put me in the semester long algebra II/trig class. It was tough, and no offense to my teacher, but she was really not a strong communicator. I felt like English was her second language, even though it wasn't. Ick. Mom and Dad hired me a math tutor. I passed the algebra II SOL test advanced, but I ended up with a "C" in the class and only got about six weeks of trig in before summer break.

Fast forward to the SPRING of my junior year. Now, I hadn't taken a math class in over a year, and  I was being thrown into precalculus. Not the best combination.

I quickly realized I lacked the trig skills for precalc.
I was on the verge of tears almost nightly as I struggled through homework that should have taken me 30 minutes but took me hours to complete.
I really, really thought I was going to fail the class.

So, when my teacher offered tutoring, I jumped at the chance. Mom drove me to school at 7:00 two to three times a week, where my teacher worked with me and a couple other students. We dubbed ourselves The Breakfast Club and tackled precalc problems with the assistance of fruit and muffins.

I have never worked so hard in a class, ever, in my entire life.

After our final exam, which I'm pretty sure I got a D or C on, Mrs. Hite came up to me and gave me a hug. She said, "I know you think you're not a strong math student, but I'd be honored if you'd take calculus with me."

I didn't. But to this day, not taking calculus is one of my biggest regrets. I had a teacher who believed in me, who went the extra mile for me, and who told me she recognized my hard work. A "C" in that class felt like a gold medal.

I'd still like to take calculus; it's on my bucket list, and it's solely because of Mrs. Hite.

You know, I read an interesting statistic the other day during a coaching tutorial: the late Coach John Wooden,  regarded as most by the winningest coach ever, had a 5:1 ratio of positive comments to criticisms. I daresay that if someone analyzed my classroom exchanges, my numbers would be swapped. Wooden was the winningest coach in history. I want to take a lesson from him, and from Mrs. Hite: positive reinforcement goes a long way. Every student can do SOMETHING well. Every student is doing SOMETHING right.


Sometimes, when I'm teaching, I forget that English is to my students what precalculus was to me: confusing, challenging, and impossible at times. They need a Coach Wooden or a Mrs. Hite (or a Frau Holley or a Mama Johnson or a Mrs. Knowles or a Mrs. Hobbs or a Ms. Ridley or a Ms. Catlett...my list could go on and on because I've been blessed with some of the best teachers in the state, literally) in their lives- someone who believes in them, affirms what they're doing well, and helps them with what they're not doing well.

Do I have the courage, patience, and commitment to be a Mrs. Hite for MY students?

Bonus: TEDTalk video by John Wooden: https://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I'm not saying I'm pro-bullying...but...

What I'm about to say might offend some.
So be it.

This is Bully Awareness Month, and because I'm a teacher who deals with kids and bullies and victims of bullies, I am expected to participate in our school's program, in which teachers (who, mind you, are not trained psychologists or counselors) must discuss stereotypes and diversity and other sensitive topics with students they don't even necessarily know that well.

Personally, I think someone with proper training should also focus on giving kids tools and scripts to stand up for themselves, as well as basic nonviolent self-defense techniques. Because let's face it: there will always be bullies in the world. Does that mean we shouldn't do anything about the kids who exhibit bullying behavior? Absolutely not.

I'm not anti character training. I'm certainly not pro-bullying. So please don't misinterpret what I'm saying here.

I just think maybe schools aren't approaching this issue in the most effective way and that perhaps school employees all over the country are only doing anti-bullying techniques to make themselves feel better, to check off a box, to say, "Yes, we're doing something about this issue." Perhaps we're not looking at the research, using the best tools, involving the community to the fullest extent (parents, coaches, clergy, etc.), and so forth.

I don't know. All I know is that I have learned some interesting things about bully prevention programs and I want to share some of them. 

"Targeting bullies, is thus, according to Twemlow, a great way to fail at stopping bullying.

Dr. Stuart Twemlow
YouTube

In a soon-to-be-published report titled 'Rethinking effective bully and violence prevention efforts,' Twemlow and his co-authors argue that such targeted bully prevention programs 'are, at best, marginally helpful.'"
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/are-anti-bullying-efforts-making-it-worse/


"Bullying was undeniably a problem that needed to be brought out of obscurity, but the issue has arguably now gotten too much attention. Such hype can lead to other problems such as the use of bullying accusations themselves as weapons in peer conflicts and overly harsh 'zero tolerance' policies that over punish minor infractions  and may exacerbate the isolation that can lead to bullying in the first place. Now that bullying has been reduced, we need to be careful that it doesn’t distract us from other pressing problems besetting our nation’s schools."
http://ideas.time.com/2013/10/10/anti-bullying-programs-could-be-a-waste-of-time/


"Why some kids take this path and others don’t isn’t well established. What is clear is that aggressive kids often perceive ambiguous interactions—and even facial expressions—as negative or threatening. Kara Penniman, a school-based social worker in Columbus, Ohio, notes that students who bully often think their behavior is justified because others are “out to get them,” and this belief touches off a cycle of negative interactions.
'Many kids who exhibit bullying behavior … don’t see themselves often as being particularly powerful,' Penniman explains. 'Sometimes they themselves are experiencing intimidation, threats, power and control problems with other people, so it can be really common for them to see themselves as the victim.'"
http://www.tolerance.org/magazine/number-45-fall-2013/there-are-no-bullies

More resources:
https://www.uta.edu/news/releases/2013/09/jeong-bullying.php

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2013/10/08/are-anti-bullying-programs-having-an-opposite-effect/

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6363093n



So this month, I will participate in the anti-bullying lessons. I will continue to build relationships with my kids (which I do anyway) so I can support them. But I will not stop thinking, in the back of  my mind, that there's got to be a better way to tackle this issue.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Dear Student(s)

Dear student,
If you're going to walk into my class drinking Starbucks...at least bring me some!
Kidding.
But seriously. Iced grande nonfat upside down caramel macchiato. With light ice and extra caramel, if you're feeling really nice.

Dear student,
I don't flipping care what Ms. So-and-so back in the 5th grade told you about your writing. If you are determined to learn how to write better, NO ONE CAN STOP YOU. Especially not her. If you're convinced you're not going to learn, YOU NEVER WILL. You're in charge of your education, NOT her.

Dear student,
Thank you for giving me your away jersey to wear to the big football game tomorrow. I feel incredibly honored that out of all the AMAZING teachers at VHS, you chose me. I will be cheering for you to beat those Panthers tomorrow night!

Dear student,
This is a strange thing to be grateful for, but thank you for mumbling under your breath during class. You are helping me learn patience. I will try not to lash out at you. I will try to connect with you individually. I will try to give you a good education, even though you don't like me. I will try to see the good in you. And p.s. I really don't care that you don't like me...that's life, and it's ok.

Dear student,
Thank you for letting me know what was wrong and hugging me when you were crying. I care, and I know you can get through what you're going through. I'm praying for you.

Dear student,
You're really quiet, and I think you think I don't notice you. I see you. You matter. And I like your taste in books.

Dear student,
I'm not sorry I took your phone. Don't let it go off again. Or at least change your ringtone to something entertaining... like the Dr. Who theme song. Or a cat meowing. That'd be hilarious.

Dear student,
Yes, you have to read every day. Reading is amazing. I hope that, by the end of the year, you will hate it just a little bit less and read a little bit more than you do now.



Dear students,
I love you kids already. I am so excited to learn together this year and to grow as readers, writers, and individuals.
 

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

We Choose







I wanted to post this in July. But I was still working on it. And then school started, and anything unrelated to lesson planning and grading and tutoring schedules and analyzing SOL scores vanished from my to-do list.
 
So, even though it's over a month late...happy anniversary to us :)
You still look at me like this, like you did on our honeymoon...like I'm freaking weirdo.

Dear husband,

It's been four years of marriage. That's an entire high school or college career. That's how long George H.W. Bush was president. That's how long we have to wait between summer Olympic games.

Wow.

Are we still this creepy, even eight years later? Probably.
I have a lot of favorite things about us.
It's adorable that we are high school sweethearts.
It's challenging that we like rival NFL teams (go Cowboys!).
It's awesome that we are best friends.
It's inspiring that we survived a long distance relationship.
Our first picture as a couple, watching fireworks on New Year's Eve, 2005.
Photo cred: Lauren Lupfer Collins

But my absolutely favorite part about this past year of marriage is that it was full of laughter.

Babe, you know that you married a Type A overachiever caffeine addict who (maybe sometimes) freaks out over little things, especially when life gets stressful. Examples of aforementioned little things: crumbs on the counter, towels folded wrong, excessive mouse clicking while you play League of Legends, dirty dishes in the sink- I'll stop there.

You know that sometimes I take out my frustration on you, even though I shouldn't. And you choose to laugh it off. Because you are gracious, and kind, and patient, patient, patient with me.


I can't even begin the count the number of times you've diffused tension by making a joke.
Me: UGH! Why are there crumbs on the counter?!?! *stomp stomp, mutter mutter, wipe crumbs aggressively*
You [with a goofy grin]: I think Minion put them there.
Me [rolling my eyes, then glaring, or perhaps doing both simultaneously]: She doesn't even like bread. She only likes cat food.
You: And tuna...and popcorn...and peanut butter...
Me: [giggling] Stop making me laugh! I'm supposed to be mad at you.
You: And toilet paper... and ear wax...and salt...
We both dissolve into a fit of laughter, and I forget that I was annoyed about the crumbs.

Doesn't this look like a still from a chick flick?
Photo credit: Monika Burkholder.
This is real life, not a cute Hollywood chick flick. We're not always happy with each other.

But a lot of times, we choose to laugh, long and loud and clear. And you have taught me to put my energy into laughter and acceptance instead of grumbling and complaining. That I have a choice in my response to life's negativity.

I know we say we don't believe in soulmates, because we've discussed it many times... but I'm becoming more and more convinced that you truly are my soulmate, because, to borrow Matthew Crawley's words (Downton Abbey, babe. Your favorite show), "I will never be happy with anyone else as long as you walk the earth."


Disappointed in the geyser behind us this
past summer, 2014, in North Carolina.
Happy (belated) four years of marriage (and almost NINE years of being a couple)! I hope and pray there are many, many more in store for us.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

YOU Are the Best Part of Teaching

It's hard to say goodbye to 51 kids who each have a piece of my heart. As promised, here's this year's letter, which all of my seniors receive (along with a handwritten note on the back...the personal touch is important, I think):
 
Dear Senior of 2014,

Last year, I ended the year thinking that teaching could not get any better.

You all proved me wrong.

This year, you have made teaching (mostly) enjoyable and never boring, whether it was because of your inappropriately timed dance moves, tendency to wear clothing that I just don’t understand (why are grandma pants back in style?), or ability to get me to laugh even when I was trying to be mad at you. I feel like the luckiest teacher in the county, no lie.

Every year I teach, I get older and further removed from being in high school, and sometimes I forget what it felt like to be in your shoes. I forget that you’re fragile yet strong, full of potential, and simply longing to be taken seriously, listened to, and accepted.  I forget that there is much more to you than meets the eye. There have been many times this year when I have found myself being humbled by each of you, and I have grown because of you.

Despite the fact that we’ve had our differences sometimes, I hope you feel, as I do, that we have some sort of relationship and have been able to talk one-on-one, whether it’s verbally or through your journals. You are important to me, even if you think I don’t see you, even if you’re quiet and fly under the radar, and even if you’re loud and kind of obnoxious a times. You are important, you are valued, and you are loved. I often leave school thinking there is no way I can possibly give you everything that you deserve as a student (hopefully, you can forgive me for my shortcomings). You should to be told that you are capable. You deserve to be pushed. You should to be told that you have the power to create a life you want, if you work hard and don’t just expect to be entitled to success. You should have people who will let you grow into adulthood, who will let you make mistakes and still love you for it, and who will bring out the best in you. As you enter the “real world,” if we can call it that, I have a few thoughts to share, things I wish someone had told me when I bebopped off to college at 17 years old.  

The first is to treat everyone you meet with kindness and to look for the good in people. You never know what someone else is battling. If you are always looking for flaws in others, you will find them, and you will harbor bitterness and likely have a pessimistic view of the world. As John Lubbock said, “What we see is what we mainly look for.” So, look for the positives.

The second thought I wish to leave you with is this: real life is MUCH like high school. I had this grand idea that when I left high school, there’d be no more cliques, no more immaturity, and no more judgment. This simply is not true; these are all manifestations of human nature. The best thing I’ve done is learn to accept it and deal with it by looking for the good qualities in people and remembering that wasting time on drama is just that: a waste.

Finally, I wish I’d known that it’s ok to have no idea what you’re doing with the rest of your life. Is it good to have goals? Absolutely. Is it necessary to know at 17 and 18 years old exactly what you’re going to major in and what you’re going to do for the next 30 years? No way!  Find what you love and do it. Make sacrifices and work hard. Short term sacrifices lead to long term rewards. Make new friends, help others in need, and travel to new places. Don’t be mean to cats and do read a book occasionally. And please…do stay in touch over the years and let me know how you’re doing. I can’t wait to hear about all the amazing success you’re going to experience!  

At the beginning of the year, you were just a name on a roster. Now, however, you are one of my kids, and you’ll always hold a very special place in my heart. If you have learned nothing else from my class this year, I hope and pray you have learned that you will always have an old high school English teacher who is in your corner, rooting for you and believing in you. YOU make every unpleasant aspect of this job SO VERY WORTH IT. You are the best part of my job. Thank you for blessing me.

I wish you all the best on your journey through life. May you find joy in the simple, clarity in the complex, strength in the storms, and contentment in the every day. May you surround yourself with people who will value you, inspire you, encourage you, and challenge you. May you never take one day for granted, and may you always remember that you are loved. May the odds be ever in your favor.

 

Best wishes always,

Mrs. S.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Big Announcement


I'm pregnant. I've never broken a bone. I've never had a cavity.
One of those is a lie. The first one. I am definitely not pregnant.
Here's the big news, y'all: I do not want kids.
At least not right now.
Everyone else is becoming parents, it seems, friends from high school and college and beyond. There are adorable, squishy babies everywhere. Creative pregnancy announcements and gender reveal announcements and maternity pictures inundate my Facebook feed and Instagram.
I know being a mom is amazing and also tougher than most people can imagine. Motherhood is a calling, a ministry, a full-time job in and of itself; it requires sacrifice and dedication and sleepless nights. Moms tell me it's so worth it, and I believe them. I have so much respect and admiration for moms.
But I also know that I am not ready yet.
And I think that’s ok.

As the hubby and I approach our four-year anniversary, I find more and more people (friends, students, acquaintances, random people) asking me, “So, when are y’all going to have kids?” And the truth is, that's a normal question to ask married couples in our society.  Another truth: that decision is kind of between us. I'm not offended when close friends ask, of course. I just think people should remember that reproductive decisions are private.

I'm going to be real for a minute here: the reason I don't want kids right now is purely selfish. I love coming home to a quiet house, eating dinner sitting down and with two hands, and going on dates with my husband whenever I want. I love being in grad school and having the freedom to get to school at 7 a.m. and stay until 7 p.m. if I need or want to. I an cherishing my freedom.

I am not ready to give all that up. I'm just...I'm not. Does that make me less of a woman or a bad person? Nah. It just makes me honest and aware that I'm not ready yet.

So there's the big announcement, for the many people who've been wondering.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Tomboys Not Welcome, Bible Says

Many of you have probably seen this story circulating the web: http://www.abc27.com/story/25061872/little-girl-taken-out-of-christian-school-after-told-shes-too-much-like-a-boy

Basically, an 8-year-old girl's guardians, her grandparents, received the following letter, and the grandparents pulled her from the school: http://ftpcontent.worldnow.com/wset/SKMBT_60114032514080.pdf


I'm writing this post in support of Timberlake Christian Schools.

I applaud them for going against the grain in this liberal society in which we live. First it's eight-year-olds who wear sneakers, have short hair, and are into sports. Then it's boys who have a diamond stud or hair that creeps down below the ears. Next thing you now, we have gays and lesbians everywhere! It's an epidemic of sin, and it must be stopped!

As Jesus clearly states in Bullshitticus 3:16-18, wearing boyish clothes turns girls into lesbians and is therefore forbidden in a Christian school. In fact, Jesus, in all His time on earth, said nothing about loving children and not turning them away from Him. He clearly states that we are to try and impose standards of dress and hairstyles on them in order to mold them to be like Him; Timberlake Christian Schools supports this standard of Christ, for which I give them props.

I will now break down Timberlake Christian Schools' letter paragraph by paragraph to show why I fully support their decision. 


First paragraph: The school official, Mrs. Becky Bowman (who's probably receiving all sorts of hate mail right now), summarizes some of the previous contact she's had with the grandparents. She starts off by asserting that the school "care[s] very deeply" about Sunnie and her well-being. She ends the first paragraph by saying, "I understand that Sunnie is being counseled professionally regarding her identity and image in order to steer her in a particular direction to handle these identity issues."

Clearly, if a child is getting counseling for an issue, it means they are dealing with some sort of sin issue or unbiblical lifestyle. The appropriate, Christian way to deal with issues is to pray them away ("pray the gay away" was coined by Jesus in his Sermon Under the Rainbow) or to pretend like they are not occurring. The best way for a school to show their love and concern for a child who is struggling is to insert themselves personally in the situation and indicate that they should be removed from their friends and teachers.

Second paragraph: Mrs. Bowman reiterates that Timberlake Christian Schools is a "religious, Bible-believing" place that believes it must "work in conjunction with" a student's home to help shape students into Christlike people.

Then Mrs. Bowman states that the school reserves the right to refuse admission  to an applicant/discontinue a student's enrollment if "the atmosphere or conduct within a particular home is counter to or in opposition to the biblical lifestyle that the school teaches." According to Mrs. Bowman, "this includes, but is not necessarily limited to, living in, condoning or supporting sexual immorality; practicing homosexual lifestyle or alternative gender identity; promoting such practices; or otherwise having the inability to support the moral principles of the school. We base this standard on Bible principles as found in Leviticus 20:13a; Matthew 19:4-6; and I Corinthians 6:9-20."

First, let's dig directly into Scripture, God's infallible, Holy Word, which we can take and apply to our lives using sound exegetical practices. Let's look first at Leviticus 20:13a, which reads, "If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable." Since Timberlake Christian Schools is a Bible-based educational institution, I am certain that they understand sound hermeneutics and just accidentally left out the rest of the verse, so I will include it here: "They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

So, according to this verse, TCS is actually being very gracious to Sunnie by not taking her out and letting her classmates stone her for her issues with gender identity (because that's pretty much the same thing as having "sexual relations" with someone of the same sex, and even though the verse is specifically talking about men, we Christians can safely inject our own opinions into the verses because we're enlightened and holy and assume that the same goes for women who lie with women).

Since TCS practices such sound hermeneutics, I assume they also hold their staff members and all the parents of the students who attend their school to the standard set forth just a few verses later in Leviticus chapter 20: If a man has sexual relations with a woman during her monthly period, he has exposed the source of her flow, and she has also uncovered it. Both of them are to be cut off from their people (verse 18). And that they ensure that no one who works for them ever wears "clothing woven of two kinds of material" (Lev. 19:19b), because I am certain these superstar Christians would never pick and choose parts of the Bible to follow, which is, again, why I fully support them.

Now that we've examined Leviticus, let's dig into Matthew 19:4-6, where Jesus is answering the Pharisees, who are trying to test him by asking him if it's lawful for a man to divorce his wife for "any reason" (verse 3). Jesus says, in verses 4-6, "Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The Biblical principle here is, obviously, that God looks down upon little girls who, by 21st century standards, dress like a boy. This verse, although the context indicates it's about divorce, can be interpreted by those of us who are more spiritual to mean that little girls who dress like boys are not welcome in a Christian school (don't skip down to verse 14).

Finally, I want to dissect 1 Corinthians 6:9-20, which starts off, "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

Since none of these types of people will inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, I am certain that TCS, in order to maintain consistency, has also sent home letters to the parents or guardians of any students who drunkards, adulterers, or swindlers (I'm lookin' at you, sneaky kid who tricks your peers into trading their Oreos for your carrot sticks).

Also, since TCS says that they home environment must be one that supports the Biblical morals of the school, I have no doubt that the administration has personally contacted every parent or guardian of their students to find out of any of them idolize celebrities or football teams, or if anyone has ever cheated on a spouse, or if any of them are against tax increases for corporations (GREEDY bastards!).

Third paragraph: Mrs. Bowman states that the school believes that unless Sunnie and her family "clearly understand that God has made her a female and that her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity," her current school isn't the "best place for her future education." Mrs. Bowman continues, asserting that the school's foundation is in direct opposition to Sunnie's current "direction."

You all saw the verses above. They indicate, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Bible forbids girls from being tomboys.

Fourth paragraph: Here, Mrs. Bowman indicates that Sunnie should not re-enroll next fall unless she's willing to follow the "biblical standard" set forth above. TCS isn't the best place for Sunnie to continue her education because those guiding her, presumably her teachers or principals, might give her conflicting advice and guidance.

The Biblical standards that were set forth above, accoring to the verses the letter gave, are as follows:

1) A man should not have sexual relations with a man as he does with a woman. Perhaps Sunnie is somehow violating this standard. Nothing is impossible!

2) A man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Perhaps Sunnie is not allowing the little boy who tried to marry her on the playground to leave his parents and cling to her?

3) Drunkards, swindlers, sexually immoral, adulterers, idolators, greedy, or men who have sex with men will not enter the kingdom of heaven (aka "any Christian institution" aka "the church" aka "TCS"). Despite the fact that Matthew 19:14 says, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these,'" clearly Jesus had a distorted view of children; he didn't realize how corrupt they actually are! Obviously if he saw Sunnie, with her short hair and sneakers, he'd turn her away.

Therefore, despite the fact that I know this opinion will not be popular, I must reiterate my full support for Timberlake Christian Schools. They have truly captured Jesus' primary message of excluding those who dress or act differently and excluding children from the kingdom of heaven. Bravo!


**Disclaimer: If you don't know what "satire" is, then you've missed the whole point of this post. If you find this post offensive, fine; you're entitled to your feelings. I am sickened by the bigotry and judgment that "Christians" exercise...I am tired of Christians making mountains out of molehills and digging for specks in eight-year-olds' eyes while ignoring the massive planks in their own.*

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Goodbye, Doctor. Hello, Ivories!

Lent is here. I'm not Catholic, but in my adult life, I've felt called to take 40 days to reflect on my relationship with God and the activities and habits that might be getting in the way of my search for a closer walk with Him.

I also decided to replace the unproductive things with productive ones, which brings me to share a (super short) video clip from today.

For Lent, I am giving up TV and Netflix. Yes, even the Doctor will not be seeing me for a while :( I don't think TV is inherently negative, but I was using it to relax and relieve stress TOO often. Not healthy.

And instead, I am going to plop down in front of the piano every time I feel the urge to grab the remote. Music, Christian or not, is a way I express myself.
I'm constantly amazed at the new melodies that can be created, the way music can make me feel so overwhelmed I want to cry or so jubilant I want to get up and dance. Music perfectly expresses whatever I'm feeling in my soul when words fail me.

But like many things I once enjoyed, playing the piano has given way to grading papers, and the times I used to head to the prayer room in Kendrick Hall to sing praise songs with friends has been replaced with vegging out in front of the TV to relieve stress.

Sadly, I think many of my adult friends don't even know how passionately I love music (especially singing). I truly, truly love it.

So I'm going to take 40 days to shake the rust of my fingers and clear the dust off my vocal cords. Actually, my goal is to finish the worship song I'm writing by Easter...we shall see...   

Anyway, tonight on Facebook, I asked for song names, because those are songs I'm going to sit down and "cover" during these 40 days of Lent. THANK YOU for those of you who answered the call ;)
Side note: covering these songs will probably motivate me to get my piano tuned...which really needed to happen six months ago :-D

So, here's just a sneak peek at some of what you MIGHT see on my blog in the coming days. Thank you, Christin, for the suggestion ;)

Blessings to you all!

Saturday, February 15, 2014

New Year's Resolution: An Update

Don't we all do this? We make resolutions and stick with them for a couple weeks before throwing our hands up in the air and saying, "I can't do this!"

OK, maybe not. Maybe that's just me. 

But I wanted this year to be different. So, I put all my resolutions on Padlet and shared them on Facebook for the world to see (one, so I always knew where to find my resolutions...I have too many notebooks/journals to keep count. And two, for the accountability). 

Here are my resolutions...let's see how I'm doing! 

1. Use all green cleaners. I am using mostly all green cleaners. The ONLY cleaner I CANNOT find a good replacement for? Draino. I'm working on it though, y'all. My favorite discovery has been a combination of Dawn and vinegar (with water, if you want it diluted). I use equal parts (heat the vinegar first), throw it in a spray bottle, and presto! Best shower cleaner/scum cleaner EVER. 

Anyone have any good recipes to share? Please do! 

2. Run a 10K. OK, not gonna lie...I signed up for a 10K, but then my grad school class got rescheduled for that day. So, uh...that's probably not going to happen. I HAVE, however, joined the gym and have been going at least three times a week. 

3. Read at least 50 books. I've read three, almost four, so far. Not too shabby! 

4. Only buy used clothing and shoes. Thanks to Plato's Closet and Goodwill, I have TOTALLY rocked this one so far. But, as y'all all know, I'm not much of a fashion guru...and I do not like shopping. So I haven't had a huge chance to mess this up. 

5. Keep up with my prayer journal. *shakes head* I've been praying more. But I misplaced my prayer journal (see above about having too many journals/notebooks). Note to self: find prayer journal ASAP! 

6. Take a class to teach me a new skill. Not yet, but I have some ideas for the summer... AND I'm open to suggestions, ESPECIALLY if any of you local people teach classes! 

7. Cook from scratch more often. ...working on it...and also trying to incorporate more Paleo stuff. It's hard, guys! 

8. Declutter apartment once every season. Haven't had a chance yet. Watch out, spring break!!! 

9. Listen to music more often. Victory! 

10. By only organic produce (check) and buy local as much as possible (still working on that...must get to farmer's markets more). 

How are YOUR New Year's Resolutions going? 

Thursday, February 6, 2014

The Right Thing: Is It Enough?

Yesterday, right before the dismissal bell rang and gave my 11th grade students the freedom they'd been longing for all class long, I had to ask a young man to stay after class.

You see, I called on him during class to answer a question, and he 100% ignored me. He's been doing this for over a month, but this time, I just sat and waited for a good twenty to thirty seconds for him to answers, and he just didn't. Kept his head down on the desk. I got scared, for a minute, that I was having a Mrs. Miller moment (my high school English teacher told us about how a student went into a diabetic coma in her class one time, and that's why she never lets kids sleep in class).

Anyway, I couldn't have him disrespect me like that, so I asked to speak to him after class.

Here's (basically) how the conversation went...

Me: I noticed that you seemed hesitant to participate in class today. I called on you for an answer, and you did not answer. You didn't look at me or raise your head from the desk. Can you tell me what's going on so we can work together to find a solution?
Student: shakes head
Me: It seems like you're not happy in class.
Student [refusing to look at me and mumbling]: ... I just don't like some of the people in here.
Me: Well, I notice you interacting with some of your friends and talking to them. Are there other people in the class you don't like?
Student: shakes head again
Me: Do you not like me and you're afraid to tell me?
Student [hesitantly and without looking at me]: ...Yeah...

Ouch.

At this point, I felt my blood pressure skyrocket and blinked back the beginnings of pesky little tears. For a split second, my heart was crushed. I love my students so much. Briefly, for a split second, I wanted to scream, "How DARE you not like or appreciate me?! How DARE you disrespect me by ignoring me in class?! Do you know what I do for you? Do you know how hard I work for YOU?"

But instead, I took a very deep breath and put my tongue on the the back of my teeth to keep my jaw from clenching in frustration (thanks, Fred Jones).

"That's ok," I said evenly. "It's ok to not like me. It seems like I have done something to hurt you, and if I remember correctly, your hesitation to participate in class started back in December, when I asked you to leave class. Is that right?"

The kid nodded. "I didn't think it was fair that I got kicked out of class."


You know what, y'all? He was right. I was wrong. I made a mistake. But as the adults, we have to be "the boss." We can't let the kids win.

Right?

If so, I guess what I said next means I'm a failure.

"[Student's name]," I said. "I am sorry that I hurt you. That was not my intention, and I see now, looking back, that I made a mistake. I hope that you can forgive me."

There. I said. I did it! He's going to forgive me, and I'll crack a joke, and we'll laugh and class will go back to how it used to be.
I was expecting that magic moment, but it didn't happen. He just glanced up at me, jaw clenched, hands folded in front of him.

Then he left.

I don't know if he's going to forgive me. I don't know if he's going to participate in class and start doing his work again. But I know, no matter what he or you or anyone else thinks, that I did the right thing.

I just hope it's enough.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Fourteen Things Teachers Want You To Know

Fourteen Things Teachers Want You To Know

1) We don't think our job is harder than yours. All jobs are challenging in different ways.

2) We only get paid for ten months of work. We do not get paid over the summer, but some of us choose to have our ten months of pay spread out so that we can pay the mortgage and life expenses.

And yes, we do work during the summer (although not as much as we do during the school year). Most of us teach summer school or do professional development during the summer. But even if we didn't, that doesn't make us lazy.

3) We are professionals. We are trained in pedagogy. We have college degrees. We know what we're doing. Trust us, please.

4) We don't mind being held accountable. What we DO mind is our time and effort being wasted in the name of "more accountability." Because then that means our kids suffer.

5) We love our kids. We can comment on their ignorance and weirdness. But don't you dare insult them. We'll usually stand up for them and defend them.

6) Getting breaks around the holidays is nice, as are snow days. Sometimes we need those breaks to keep from going insane, or to grade papers, or to revamp a lesson. You know, things we don't get to do during "planning" time.

7) No, just because we're not new teachers anymore does NOT mean all our lessons are just ready to go and that we just walk into school, lecture, and walk out. A good teacher constantly updates lessons, projects, assessments, and activities to meet the needs of each year's students or to incorporate new teaching techniques.

8) All these "education reform laws" will not get to the root issues and fix the broken system or the faulty attitudes surrounding education.

9) While none of us teach for the money, it is discouraging and demoralizing to know that you can work your tail off for years and years in a row and still never get a raise (even though we're supposed to).

10) Things that don't seem like they take a long time (making copies, tutoring, allowing kids to make up tests before and after school, calling/emailing parents, IEP meetings, etc.) add up and take time away from our ability to do what we do best: teach.

11)  We leave teaching not because we don't like teaching anymore. It's because we don't get to teach because of ALL of the other crud we have to do.

12) There's much more to learning than grades and test scores. We want our kids to learn to think for themselves, problem solve, and be able to teach themselves anything. But...we are judged based on our kids' grades and test scores...so we have to find balance in the classroom, and it's hard.

13) Almost all of us coach or sponsor a club in addition to teaching. Many of us do multiple clubs or sports. We do not just work 8-4.

14) We like to be involved in our school community. We love to make a difference. It's why we became teachers. 

We want to leave the world  better than we found it.


Teacher friends, what else would you add? 

Friday, January 17, 2014

The Pledge, Theologically Unsound Lyrics, and Other Words

I spend hours convincing my students that words are important. Words have the power to incite a revolution, to touch a heart, to change the world. You should write what you mean, using the exact vocabulary that conveys your intentions. 

So yes, maybe as an English teacher I’m particularly sensitive to the words I say, hear, and read, or maybe it's a personality issue. I'm not entirely certain. 

I’ll never forget the time we were in chapel at college. We were singing during praise and worship, a song directed to God, and the lyrics of the song went something like this:

"You’ve stolen my heart, yes, You have.
You’ve stolen my heart, yes, You have.
You’ve wiped away the stains
Broke away the chains
Yes, You have."

I stopped singing in the middle of the song as my schoolmates continued to belt out the lyrics around me, furrowing my eyebrows, pondering the first two lines of the chorus.
No, God has not stolen my heart. He doesn’t steal from us; we have free will.
And yes, I get that it’s a figurative phrase (English teacher, remember?)…but I felt uncomfortable with it. So, I stopped singing those lines of the song.

Call me crazy. Call me too literal. Call me whatever you want.
I’m ok   trying to be ok with that. I’m learning to be comfortable following my convictions, no matter what my family, husband, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, or baristas think. 

Song lyrics with bad theology aren’t the only words I do not say. It’s hard for me to admit that I also do not say the Pledge of Allegiance. I know that people will call me ungrateful. They’ll say I’m not “American” and I’m not patriotic. It’s happened before.

If you do say the Pledge, I will not call you a Socialist or say you are brainwashed or whatever. I respect your decision. It’d be nice if you could extend the same to me. Generic “you” here.

I always stand for the Pledge, out of respect. I don't make a big deal out of the fact that I don't say it. I am quiet and reflective every single morning when it is recited over the speakers at school every single morning. 

But I don’t say the words, those words penned by a Socialist minister in the 19th century, intended to be chanted by schoolchildren across America, land of the free, protector of rights such as the freedom of speech (P.S. if you're looking for some light reading, http://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/319/624/case.html is the majority opinion of the 1943 court case West Virginia State Board of Ed. vs. Barnette regarding forcing students to say it in school). 

And frankly, I think that exercising my right to not say the Pledge is a pretty American action to take. Just like I think being careful of the words I sing about and to God is a pretty Christian thing to do.

I know I need to take this one step further, too. I need to make sure my conversation is edifying, uplifting, and beneficial for those hearing it. I need to remember the power of words in every area of my life, not just my "soapbox issues."


Words are powerful. I just want to use them intentionally.