I AM CALM!!!!!!!!!!

I have always been a high needs person. My mom can tell you that, as a baby, I had to be driven around in a car in order to fall asleep. Difficulty sleeping, even as a baby, is an indicator of having high needs.

Other indicators:
Intense (check)
Demanding (check)
Unpredictable (check)

My husband can tell you that, even now, I'm still high needs. I neeeeeeed the temperature in the house to be at least 72, or else I'm miserable, bundled in my polka dot robe and fuzzy socks, complaining about my cold nose. I neeeeeeeeeed Jim and Pam on The Office to work out their marriage issues, or else I will cry myself to sleep on Thursday nights. Everything is MAGNIFIED TO ME. I have big feelings about little things and big things alike, and I am not, by nature, a calm person at.all.

This leads me to the crux of my post: apparently I'm starting to be calm. 

A few months ago, a coworker told me I "exude calm" and that my students pick up on it and are, therefore, more calm.

Most recently, though, was this conversation.

Student: So, this journal prompt about what I'd do if I were the principal...I can write anything?
Me: Yes; it's your journal.
Student: Well, in that case, I'm going to fire you!
Me: Ok, that's fine.
Student: Huh? [shocked] You ain't mad about that?
Me: Nope; it's your journal. You may write anything you wish.
Student: Gah, Mrs. Suders, HOW DO YOU STAY SO CALM?
Me: Well, I realized that when I let people upset me, they then have power over me. And I don't want others to have power over me; I want to be in control of myself and my own emotions.
Student: [with a snort] Well, you have a LOT of power over me, 'cause you make me really mad sometimes!!!
Me: It sounds like you feel frustrated.
Student: Yeah, I'm frustrated! You gave us ALL THIS WORK for our last semester of high school. This is TOO MUCH.
Me: So, it sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed by my class right now.
Student: Yes! EXACTLY!!!! [pause...eyebrows furrow together in confusion] ...wait a second...you're still so chill right now.
Me: *shrug*

I think the first and foremost reason for this new "calmness" is a spiritual journey I've been on for a few years now where I've experienced the beauty of God's grace and forgiveness numerous times. Since He has bestowed it upon me, and I know I don't deserve it at all, I feel like I really have no right to hold anger or bitterness towards people in my life who would've previously upset me.

He has genuinely humbled me.
Not that false "I'm no good" humility, but a real, gut-wrenching, humility, where I've cried at the realization of how much He loves me and how overwhelming it is that a perfect God could extend just mercy and grace to me.
When I think about that, well...nothing else matters quite as much.
Nothing else is truly worth getting worked up over.

In conjunction with this spirtual journey is my outlook on discipline in general.
I am so thankful I have been led away from punitive measures of discipline and towards grace-based ones. This flows into my teaching and allows me to build relationships with students. It allows me to do the following:
a) Validate/reflect their feelings ("It's ok that you feel upset right now." "It sounds like you're angry about the amount of work you have to do today.")
b) Script them ("We don't say 'shut up' in this classroom; please try again.")
c) Guide them to more acceptable behaviors ("When someone makes us angry, sometimes we want to lash out at them or fight them. However, a better way to handle our anger is to ask to leave the room for a breather or talk to the teacher after class.")

I totally could not do ANY of that if I weren't relaxed and peaceful.
I'd end up saying stuff like, "WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING?! JUST DO THE WORK!"
and
"You have NO right to be angry! You're so lucky to get an education!" and other things that simply wouldn't be helpful to them.

Peace within can sometimes create peace without, but even if it doesn't, I can still maintain my peace in times of turmoil.