You might be TTC if...

I'm going to NOT publish the super angsty, whiny rant I wrote earlier while sipping my java chip frappucino. Today, I'm going to resort to humor. Or, at least, a more lighthearted tone.

It's been almost eight months since our miscarriage. Six months since we've hopped back on the trying to conceive (TTC for short, as I learned from baby boards) train. A month since our due date. And this whole "living my life in hopes of being a baby-making machine" is just a reality now (which I honestly never really thought it would be because babies = meh and little kids/older kids/teens = my bread and butter). But now all I really want is a giant belly and stretch marks and a squishy little poop monster to call Suders Junior...

So here's my "You might be trying to conceive if" list. Enjoy (or don't. Whatever. I don't write for you...I write for me):

1) You might be TTC if every time you see "AF" on social media, you think of "Aunt Flo" and not...what that actually stands for...

2) You might be TTC if you don't even accidentally SNIFF alcohol during the second part of your cycle, ya know, just in case.

3) You might be TTC if you've ever ordered pregnancy or ovulation tests on Amazon. Or Amazon Prime. Or Amazon Prime Now. Shhh...don't ask me how I know they sell them there...

4) You might be TTC if you have literally wanted to punch someone in the face after they've said, "Oh yeah, we weren't even trying!" *giggle giggle* The feeling soon passes and you're happy for them and still a little jealous, probably.

5) You might be TTC if you have tried acupuncture, herbal supplements, taking your temperature every morning, changing your diet, and other more, erm, intimate and private changes in hopes of increasing the chance of making a baby...

6) You might be TTC if you look at your calendar months in advance and make sure your schedule aligns with your husband's. Wink wink.

7) You might be TTC if someone asks you what day it is and you say "CD 21" instead of "April 11th."

8) You might be TTC if you know what AF, BFP, BFN, CD, CM, EWCM, and LP all stand for.

9) You might be TTC if you secretly spend time choosing baby names and building a baby registry and researching douals, ya know, just in case.

10) You might be TTC if you think, "This baby would be due in January if we MAKE IT RIGHT NOW."

Maybe a little TMI, but hey, it's better than the alternative, which was for me to vent (once again) about all the people who are magically becoming preggo without even trying, all the people complaining about their kids/pregnancies (gah, what I wouldn't give to feel that morning/noon/night nausea again!), and all the people who are telling me to "just relax."

So trust me- this awkward (for you...I don't care) list is way better than the alternative.