I love the satisfaction of clutching my pen and scratching through list items. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.
And this is (partially) why I'm going to grad school (sometime in the next five years).
I need goals. I need a list so I can scratch things off (oh, and also, I'm terribly forgetful). Seeing
Now that I've graduated high school and college with acceptable grades...now that I've obtained my dream jobs of teaching and coaching... now that I'm happily married to my love... well, my lists say things like "grade papers tonight" and "match up socks that went missing in the dryer" and "clean litterbox," and quite frankly, I'm just getting a little bored.
I need things to strive for. I need my sticky notes to say things like, "study quantitative reasoning for an hour tonight," and "get accepted into grad school," and "actually participate in college graduation, since you didn't walk when you finished undergrad." I need to feel accomplished and like I'm tapping into the gifts and abilities God's given me.
I need better lists on my sticky note. So, today, mine says, "Ace GRE on January 5th." Check back then to see if I can scratch this off. I'm not the only one who loves lists, right?
Having lived with you before, I understand how your idea of goal-making, list-oriented, sense-of-accomplishment brain works, and I wish I had your self-discipline. Especially now that I'm in grad school plus working full-time and having no self-discipline myself.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think you need to be careful about your statement about "tapping into the gifts and abilities God's given you." I don't mean to misunderstand or misjudge, but sometimes God needs you to match up socks or clean up the litterbox. Ordinary tasks can create order in a world full of chaos and is exactly what God can have for you.
The everyday is just as important as life lists and life goals. If you get caught up in the next big thing, you might miss out on the life that's right in front of you.
I'm almost 25 now, married to my own love, with a dog, owning property, with a dream job of my own, and I love love love the ordinary. I love cleaning, and painting my house, and giving my dog a bath, and making my husband dinner. I wish I could do more of that if school and school wasn't such the biggest timesucks.
God is using me in a very big way in my own ordinary life. I'm tapping into gifts He's given me in my job, in my marriage, in my house. I feel accomplished when I go to bed and the kitchen is cleaned.
I don't exactly know if what I'm saying is making sense. I guess what I really mean is just be careful. Don't think God can't do great things in the ordinary days.
I agree that God can do great things with ordinary days and that sometimes He does shine through the seemingly mundane tasks. I also agree that focusing too much on the future leads to missing out on the beautiful moments God has for us every day. And truly, I do find joy in baking muffins for my husband, keeping my home clean and cozy, and folding laundry.
ReplyDeleteBut, at the same time, I AM wired to have goals and to achieve them. I know myself, I know how God wired me, and I know that I cannot and will not, personally, be fulfilled without maximizing on some of the OTHER gifts I have. I think it's wonderful that God has made us all different, with different desires and strengths and areas to grow. So, for me at this stage in my life, after two years of thought and prayer, I feel led to continue my education...while still blessing my husband at home and taking care of all the other things He's called me to do.
I believe that going back to school (within the next couple of years) is what God has in store for me, especially because I want to be a stay-at-home mom when we finally have kids. I want my ministry to be my kids. And I don't want to have to work or be in school full-time while raising them, so I feel that starting my Master's sooner rather than later best lines up with what R. and I feel will be best for our family someday :) I didn't go into all that in the post, obviously ;) But that's a huge reason I feel so compelled to take the GRE now and scratch it off my list.
And the cool thing is that these decisions are right for me- but they might not be right for my coworkers, or my friends, or you, or the other people reading this blog right now.
I appreciate your thoughts. They're great reminders to be content, and to do small tasks with great love, and to serve God in everything we do, not just the tasks we humans perceive as significant.